Municipal Malady Appreciator Gifts

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

'Good news hon' ! It's nothing serious! The doctor said it's just a simple case of Tennis Elbow!'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Count Orlov couldn't get over his fear of dentists...

A Clown plays their tongue as a musical instrument

'I've saved a bundle on cubicles. I only hire mimes who do that invisible wall thing.'

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

Fish Workout

Ventriloquism for Beginners

'The survival of this patient is a true testimony to the blessing of modern science.'

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

"I can see it from here."

Do Not Confuse Your Internet Search With my Medical Degree!

"Incredible! - I have never seen a whole septic head before!!"

"It's so refreshing to find a guy who wants you for your brain."

Maradona memorial.

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

'Surgery went well, Mr. Moore. I had a lot of fun rebuilding your knee joint.'

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

"Good news, Mrs. Mostyn. Those lumps on your breasts are nipples."

From the Department of New Age Medicine: The First Artichoke Heart Transplant.

Pharmacy. Can you give me something that will make me feel better, but not quite good enough to go back to work?

A Mega-Mooer.

In memory of the memorial that stood here.

There are whalers around here, so I try not to surface: Hence the snorkel...'

"Sorry Bob, but Henry hugs four times better."

"He never fit in, so this is how he wanted to be remembered."

Scottish drill sergeant.

Policemen marching

"This gold star is for being a good cop and...hey you! Don't turn around! You have been a very bad cop!"