Mummy Maniac Gifts

'I'm not eating that! It's probably full of preservatives!'

"That's a wrap..!"

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

Mummies busking.

We lucked out. This one's wrapped in videotape.

Mummy peeks out of a pyramid.

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'Helen, I can't believe you haven't tried shrink wrap! It's the latest thing.'

'He was an evil king.'

'It's a court order directing a restart of life support.'

Ancient Egyptian Curser

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Butterfly Sales

Love Hurts

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Mummy Tourists

"That's perfect! The bloody door is too small!"

Mummy Toilet Roll.

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse