Mummy Maniac Gifts

'I'm not eating that! It's probably full of preservatives!'

"That's a wrap..!"

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

We lucked out. This one's wrapped in videotape.

Mummy peeks out of a pyramid.

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'Helen, I can't believe you haven't tried shrink wrap! It's the latest thing.'

'He was an evil king.'

'It's a court order directing a restart of life support.'

Ancient Egyptian Curser

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Love Hurts

Mummy Tourists

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

Mummy Toilet Roll.

Spaghetti Mummy

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"An ark with a 'K', you idiot!"

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

Ancient Egyptian Doctors