Multimedia Professional Gifts

"We've been bought by a multi-media company. We all have to learn to tap dance."

Trial by Media

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

Local News in Heaven

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

Reporter #6: television.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."