Multi-media Enthusiast T-Shirts

I'm a multi media person...I watch everything.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"They grow up so fast."

Herman Mankiewicz

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Create some buzz!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

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DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

Binge Watch

Newspaper suicide.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Starvation Watching

Creativity 2.0

Presenter Auditions.

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'