Muck Spreading Gifts

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

The Brothers Grime

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

The Pooperrazzi

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

"Relax, Hargraves, … we're all 'Muckety-Mucks' here."

'It needs more dirt.'

The Perils of Dog Kisses

'I'm all about quantity.'

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

Traffic Jam.

'Be patient. I'll grow out of it.'

"Man does not live by bread alone."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

Stamped

'Oh, she's not an early developer, that was just a lucky throw.'

'...and you can take that wag off your tail!'

Peanut Margarine

James and I discussed at length what the best type of margarine was.

A woman waits in a "Gossip" stand

'The way I see it, money is like a big manure pile, it's no good unless you spread it around.'

"And I'd like to ask my mud-slinging opponent if he's been faithful to that moose he married."

'There we go desktop all tidy.'

Market penetration Like You Wouldn't Believe!

'The going's a little soft today, isn't it?'

"Sometimes I think he goes outside, rolls around in the mud, then comes in and shakes it off on us on purpose."

'I've been wallowing in mud my whole life and look at me.'

Splat of green slime

"You fool! I said pillage! Pillage and burn!"