Mozart Maven Gifts

Alexander Borodin.

Instructional guide to scribbling

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Jerk Gene

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Bleak House

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Life is ghoul

'U.S. Manufacturing'

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'I'll accept that excuse for now, but you need to have a brain by Monday.'

Lacks Structure and Meaning

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

Snake charming the telephone.

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

"I'll make you a deal. You stop chasing me, and I'll show you where they hide the catnip."

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

'That was Dobson on the phone... What a lucky dog! He don't need to worry about stocks and economy anymore. He just went flat broke.'

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

Man wearing a 'Manufacturing' float ring hesitates beside empty 'Qualified Labor pool'

'Quick, Bernie - in here!'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

Even in manufacturing the creative well can run dry.

"Just one eye of newt. I'm on a diet!"

The Monster Under the Bed.

"I don't know why other countries won't buy our products...After all, they made them!"