Moving To Hollywood T-Shirts

'Face it boys, you're lousy comics, I suggest you find another career,'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Carefree luggage.

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Omara Portuondo

Rhapsody in Blue.

Culture Saturday

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Picking pastries.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Relaxing in the Sun

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Why Cows Leave Home

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

The stages of gentrification: a guide