Movie Quipster Gifts

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Herman Mankiewicz

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Is the water cold?'

Cary Grant

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

Official Seal

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"E.T. phone home... Now!"

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. I've always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal "You're the disease, and I'm the cure." Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said "Consider that a divorce." Or like in They Live, when ju

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"You were never in The Birds..."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

"I know what you're thinking: Did he order six eggs or only five. You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, waiter?" "He's so not making my day." When Dirty Harry Met Sally

"Who's the actress that's married to the guy who was in that movie about cops with the actor who starred with the woman in that TV show about doctors?"

Michael Douglas

"That reminds me of a scene from 'The Big Lebowski.'"

No one bleats about fleece club!

"Edward Shovelhands"

Cult films!

"Don't you know what happens to the naive blonde who goes into the dark cellar? Have you not read the script?"

"I often see 'Filmed in Panavision' during the credits of films, but I have absolutely no idea where that is."

Three Amigos

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Apples, Oranges and Lemmons

Never mind the Bartoks.

Are you a "Star Wars" fan, good sir? Who isn't? I would like to propose a small wager. Ask me any question about Star Wars. Any question at all

I'm already two weeks ahead of my diet schedule.