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"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

PSATs. Standardized tests are sooo lame! Yeah. Who thinks in multiple choice? At least they're over! We can finally answer more important questions. West Fester High School. What are you doing tonight? A. Rachel's party. B. The movies. C. None of the above.

By the time all these previews are over, the sequel will be out.

Cary Grant

"Sorry - two nights only...."

"Do you reckon I could risk going out to buy a lottery ticket?"

Bowled over again!

Storm in the out tray

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

American Idle.

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

TV-Man

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Star Wars Audience

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"I'm having a pajama day."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Haven't you already seen this movie, like, a hundred times?"