Mountain Sages T-Shirts

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Bishop with a crozier case.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Mom?"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Mount Everest.

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"My granddaughter wants me to stop blowing the tops off mountains."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"Why do we need six letters to spell 'Wordle'?"

'Advice? Yep, take your Olympic torch somewhere else.'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'Aren't the Swiss Alps wonderful this time of year, Bob? Bob?'

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute'

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

Ski Jump Flight Plan

"The real money is in franchising."