Mountain Myth Investigator T-Shirts

'Any sign of a yeti there, Fred?'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Phoenix

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Free why-fi.”

"Are you sure this what he said to build?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Centaur Sprinter

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Mom?"

'I thought I heard a twig snap.'

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'Careful Jack - it might be a GM beanstalk!'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'I'm bored...'

'Must be Pandora's.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

Moses Before Pharaoh's Daughter.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"We only have the Bible."

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

"Oh U! The German periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"