Moulting Magician Pillows

'Isn't he sweet - he likes everyone to know he's moulting!'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

'Hows it coming?'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Pottery

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

"I have to know how it's done."

'MOM! -- Kevin's sticking pins in my Harry Potter doll!'

Scrapyard Worker

"It's like texting, but for dead people."

"No more holidays with YOU! - I told you not to upset the witchdoctor!"

'I'm sorry but she's in a conference.'

Business people watching football during a video conference.

'Gutherie's a genius at clearing the paperwork - I don't know how he does it.'

Teacher with Swiss Army Yardstick

'Your behavior is inappropriate and completely unacceptable!' 'Talk to the hand!'

"Good evening. It's a pleasure to be here addressing you tonight."

" 'Complimentary' or not, you can't take ninety million dollars' worth of mints."

He was raised by a pack of wolves, and the cleaning lady who came in twice a month.

"Didn't you want to plant a tree with our grandchild?"

Aunty Mavis spent her life hopping from one job to another.

"I always add a few breath mints to his food."

'I dreamed last night that I was Big Bird and you were Kermit.'

Dream Analysis

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

Mover Carrying Furniture to Trucks Saying "His" and "Hers"

guess who just signed a contract with sesame street.