Motto Maverick T-Shirts

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Gene Therapy

Rogue elephant

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

Boy who has been to the dentist

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

Conformity

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

DoctorGuru - 'Do you have an appointment?'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

Don't sweat the small stuff

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

"Where is everybody going?"

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

'Do people have soles?'

The Island of Misfit Pants

'I told you, Frank, if you're going to invite your werewolf buddies over, you have to clean up after them!'

'Manic depression therapy clinic.'

"Be the ball. Be the pins. Be the lane. Be the shoes."

"To suggest that the government has nothing to do but persecute workers with trivial targets is absurd..." "We also have to write dozens of pointless procedures and meaningless memos..." "And these pathetic protocols didn't write themselves."

"It's a buy-to-think."