Motto Maverick T-Shirts

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Gene Therapy

Rogue elephant

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

Boy who has been to the dentist

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

Conformity

'And I say it's time this boat was rocked!'

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

In and Outre Tray

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

DoctorGuru - 'Do you have an appointment?'

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

Don't sweat the small stuff

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

"Where is everybody going?"

The Island of Misfit Pants

'Do people have soles?'

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

'I told you, Frank, if you're going to invite your werewolf buddies over, you have to clean up after them!'

'Manic depression therapy clinic.'

"Be the ball. Be the pins. Be the lane. Be the shoes."

"To suggest that the government has nothing to do but persecute workers with trivial targets is absurd..." "We also have to write dozens of pointless procedures and meaningless memos..." "And these pathetic protocols didn't write themselves."

"Resolutions? pfffft. . . just chewed mine up."