Motorhead Humorist T-Shirts

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Motor Tourism

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

A souped up car...

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"D'you have any porn porn?"

Cow outboard engine

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"I'm starting my own podcast about cars! I'll get to talk for hours about my favorite models and customizing my ride!"

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

Car that makes a noise: 'Ka-ching'.

"It went a little over estimate - We had to put it in intensive care fore awhile."

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

'No, I'm afraid I can't pass it. Even if you do promise to shout 'no breaks' as you drive along.'