Motivational Talk Fan Gifts

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

"Your problem is, when you have a window of opportunity, you usually jump out of the window."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Remember, you can do ANYTHING...but for only 80 cents to every dollar earned by a man."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

'Idealist'

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

Leadership never hibernates.

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

IF A MOO CAN RISE TO THE TOP, SO CAN I

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

'Can I get an AAAAY-OHHH?'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

Anthony Rottweiler: Motivational Dog Speaker

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

" ...And now, for today's TED Talks ..."

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

"As long as there's coffee, life will find a way."

I truly believe I was destined for greatness. Then I see a pile of excrement on the floor and I think'...Oh well!'

And remember this carrot doubles as a stick.

Snail Shoes

'Now get out there and execute.'

Jed Clampett delivers his Jed Talk

"We will rebuild!"

The Fairness Doctrine.

"Vision: It's what took a small workshop in the North Pole and turned it into the massive global enterprise we know today."

Hug someone you love today.