Motivational Message Fan Gifts

Out of Work Motivational Speaker.

Have Fun

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

"Remember, you can do ANYTHING...but for only 80 cents to every dollar earned by a man."

'Have you been working out?'

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Sign: 'Gerrards Cross - Owens Volley'.

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

Vents, real and digital.

3...2...1...I'm Recording

"'Resume In A Bottle'-- Very creative, but we're looking for somebody with a bit more experience."

Admiral Lord Nelson practiced mindfulness techniques daily to reduce his stress levels. He found an hour of 'naval gazing' worked wonders.

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

Pot Needles

"Our motto here at Ace Funerals is... All Men are Cremated Equal."

Employees following the boss's carrot.

A restaurant called "Eat'n'Eat"

And remember this carrot doubles as a stick.

Snail Shoes

"Bad news. The competition brought in 13 coupons and seventy thousand reasonable facsimiles."

"Your problem is, when you have a window of opportunity, you usually jump out of the window."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Yes, by all means, Mr. Fusco, feel free to seek out a second opinion

"We will rebuild!"

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

Hug someone you love today.