Motivational Philosopher Pillows

"Being wretched keeps me grounded."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Go team!

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Go! Means NOW!

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

What else is there to wish for?

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Eat my dust!"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Critisize your weight.

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Man running in a hamster wheel

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Slavery Reparations

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.