Motivational Philosopher Gifts

"Being wretched keeps me grounded."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Go team!

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Go! Means NOW!

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

What else is there to wish for?

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Man running in a hamster wheel

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Slavery Reparations

'Would you all please congatulate...'