Motivational Humor Fan Pillows

I truly believe I was destined for greatness. Then I see a pile of excrement on the floor and I think'...Oh well!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

Chicken soup for the sole.

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

Tequila Mockingbird

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

tRUMp, Pirate President

No, I don

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Fish finder."