Motivational Book Critic Gifts

Man Jumps on the 'Guide: How to make money'.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Always expect the best

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

A day in the life of Fred Billings, Attack Optimist!

'Every day son, I feel on top of the World!'

"With one hand I'm reading the past decade's most critically acclaimed novel. With my other hand I'm searching for enough negative reviews to justify my decision to abandon it."

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

Live, laugh, love

Carrot & nose on sticks.

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

Collected Works of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Listen to this ... In "the Last Tycoon" F. Scott Fitzgerald observed that there are no second acts in American lives. In my case, either he was right about that or this is a very long intermission!

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"Believe me, there are no critics under your bed."

"Your husband is critical."

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

'I hate these literary parties. All everyone does is sit around and complain about their publishers. Take mine for instance ...'