Motherhood Wizard Pillows

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

When avocados go soft

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

'No,if you'll read the eyes-in-the-back-off-your-head chart, I check your mom vision,'

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'