Motherhood Wizard Pillows

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

When avocados go soft

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"You didn't need to dress up, Albert - it's just soup."