Mother-lover Pillows

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

celebrating a birth.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

Changes at home

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

The Housewife

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

Judge, jury and executioner.

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"He takes after your mother"

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'