Mother-lover Pillows

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

celebrating a birth.

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Changes at home

The Housewife

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

Judge, jury and executioner.

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

"He takes after your mother"