Motel Adventurer Gifts

'We're totally jet-lagged -- Take us to Tom Bodette.'

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Caution, Student Self-Driver

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Bed and Breakfast

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

"It's right here in the brochure: 'Be sure to tip your fishing guide.'"