Mosh Pit Master Gifts

"The rock concert was awesome Mum: We were front row once Timmy had cleared the mosh pit!"

Face painting.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Tommy!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Updated History: "Pokerhantas and John Smith." I'll call you bet and raise ten bucks.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Happy now?'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Untidy bedroom

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

"How many times have I told you not to play mechanic under the car."

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

"It's 'Modern Music Night' tonight. Will you be joining the others in the mosh pit?"

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"

Skiing Accidents.

"One day, many years from now, we'll look back at this and laugh."