Mortuary Worker Pillows

"It's a crying shame, his wife went to visit her mother in Australia and forgot to leave directions to the kitchen"

Joint Ventures!

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'

"Simkins, it's not the first time I've caught you taking a nap. Get dressed and back to work!"

Doorman with Angel Wings

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

Gravedigger

Ignitas

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

Undertakers' supermarket.

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

"I've got a knocking coming from drawer 34. What's the procedure?"

'Yep, his face is beyond recognition but that's my Charlie for certain.'

Larry! Larry! Can you hear me?'

'Behind the scenes at a crematorium.'

Here Lies John Doe

'That's stiff competition'

'Damn it Monroe! I told you to finish the stock taking!!'

'As a cemetery worker... I prefer working the 'graveyard' shift!'

'Can I go before you?'

"I'm just not sure that the market is ready for 'fun sized' Coffins."