Mortuary Worker T-Shirts

"It's a crying shame, his wife went to visit her mother in Australia and forgot to leave directions to the kitchen"

Joint Ventures!

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'

'And as a full time employee, Ruth you're entitled to 15 percent of all caskets and embalming supplies.'

"Simkins, it's not the first time I've caught you taking a nap. Get dressed and back to work!"

Doorman with Angel Wings

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

Gravedigger

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

Tomb of the Unknown Sculptor.

Ignitas

Undertakers' supermarket.

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

"I've got a knocking coming from drawer 34. What's the procedure?"

'Yep, his face is beyond recognition but that's my Charlie for certain.'

Larry! Larry! Can you hear me?'

'That's stiff competition'

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'

'Behind the scenes at a crematorium.'

Here Lies John Doe

'Damn it Monroe! I told you to finish the stock taking!!'