Mortuary Science T-Shirts

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

The Dinner Break

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Deaths from Coronavirus

He looks so natural lying there...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Covid Shield

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

Alexander Fleming

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Artificial hearts.

Joint Ventures!

X-RAY

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.