Mortgage Destroyer Pillows

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

Student Debt

Pizzeria - 'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

'Is it okay to put my credit card payment on my credit card?'

"For what it cost me, it SHOULD be big."

Buy now... pay later

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

Born To Raise Dirt

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

In case of insolvency break glass.

'I'm afraid I can't prescribe anti-depressants for housing gloom.'

'You have to work two and a half years to cover your annual living expenses.'

'I've pinpointed our problem. There's too much month left at the end of my salary!'

"Would you like your paycheck sent directly to your mortgage holder, your oil company or your health insurance provider?"

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

"Although we appreciate your offer of a 'magic money tree' you still have to repay your mortgage."

'I'm sorry, NEXT!'

Woman at mail boxes which are marked: Local Mail Out - Of Town Mail - Deficit Ideas.

Worrying over the large number of bills to pay.

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!