Furniture Destroyer Pillows

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Surprise!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'