Furniture Destroyer Pillows

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'Don't look at me!'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'