Mortality Humor Fan Pillows

"Kick me"

Night of the Zombonies.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Perfect! By the way, I'm a huge fan of your movies!"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Peripheral vision cow

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"Hey! I knew I could depend on you two!"

"Harumph. . !"

Christmas Sale Special

"Well, how do you think the interview went?"

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

"If it's worth anything, I just choked to death in a vegan joint."

Doctors having a discussion with Death.

"The first eight times it was curiosity. The last time I was run over."

"I come from a family of long livers."

Chinese Funerals.

Angels fighting after car accident

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

No Hoodies

"Fire drill?"

' Well..That's the last of our water.'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten doctor's recommend for a headache when stranded on a desert island.'

Grim Reaper at the Checkout.

"He brought joy to tens."