Mortality Exploration Pillows

"I'm not afraid of being alone. I just need someone around to discover my corpse because I can't afford a housekeeper."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Did you get my tweet?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Look man, no wings!'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

Going Down?

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

The Final Selfie

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The Suite Hereafter

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"Your husband says BOO!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."