Mortal Musings Enthusiast Gifts

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"That's perfect! The bloody door is too small!"

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Lancelot put to the Test.

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

Mummies for Dummies

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

Leo Tolstoy

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

Bertrand Russell

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'Definitely fake.'

'You will meet a tall, handsome psychologist who will teat your gullibility.'

"Dear, I've bounced back from cancer, two heart attacks and a stroke. You know what kills me?" "Obviously nothing."

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

Astral Projecting Babushkas

Hippocrates

The Last Powerpoint

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

A Palm reader reading her palm with the aid of a battery powered night light

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

"Apparently, he was the most disapproving of all the Pharaohs."

'So, do you smoke?'

"Well, how do you think the interview went?"

"I can't believe how young I look."

Three balls...no waiting.

"£80 for a crystal ball?? They must've seen you coming. . . !"

"Hey! I knew I could depend on you two!"