Morning Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Dang it."

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Cock-a-doodle... don't.'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Skiing.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Faster, Georges, faster!

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Selling lemon latt�