Morning Grumpster Gifts

Winter Mornings

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Back to work...

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

You have the worst spring breath.

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Sorry I'm late - My sundial didn't go off.'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Dang it."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

Alarm clock.

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."