Morbid Joke Lover Gifts

"You folks ready, or do you need more time?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Vegetarian Birds

Your lobster was off!

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Doggone

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

What do you suggest we do about this?

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

Next to Nothing

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"I cross the road to forget."