Moralist Moviegoer Gifts

'And now for BEST MOVIE ERODING AMERICA'S MORAL VALUES...'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

You are very important to me!

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

"Turns out the love of money wasn't the root of all evil."

Religious toilets.

The tortoise and hare

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

Kissing at the Movies

The Seven Deadly Sins: Envy, envy, envy, envy, envy, envy and envy.

"I've never quite figured out how it works. For years, you're on the right side of history, and then one day, you're not!"

"I forget-did we decide to see something life-affirming or something mind-numbing?"

'If movies are supposed to depress the hell out of you, then what's life for?'

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

Repent

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

"Why don't you just stop moaning and ask him to take his hat off?"

'You've seen the film now eat the cast!'

Now showing, Deja Kung Foo! 'Those martial arts movies are all alike!'

'Hear no evil. See no evil. Do no evil'

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

"Sit down Fred!"

Hey, take your hat off. My dog can't see the film!

Mantis chick flicks