Moral Muser Gifts

Remember when a sin was a sin and not a psychological disorder?

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

Nun Binning the Devil

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"But am I happy? Very."

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

Devil worried because he feels good

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''