Moral Guardian Gifts

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

Church Zone - Thou Shalt Not Speed.

Do Not Cross the Vatican

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Tonight's topic Ethical behavior. Personally, I let my conscience by my guide, but I do the driving!

Liberty and capital punishment.

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

"I try to follow my conscience, but by early afternoon it's usually lost me."

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

Virtue is its own reward. Vice works on commission.

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

'Nap time's over, Ms. Doan. You have to wake them up.'

'I TOLD you Adam needed a role model.'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

Little Did She Know

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

"I have so many summer videos on my phone, but I don’t remember being there." "Sure. Because you experienced it all through your phone."

"Remember, theres a right way to do things and there's your father's way."

"I want you to prepare a business ethics presentation. If you don't have the time steal it off the internet."

I was going to make you a rich woman, but you're done. Fine with me. I don't care what percentage I'll get. I won't let you play with my reputation. I won't let you trade in fake scandal. Perfect. What? We got your anger on videotape. Your redemption is complete. You're back on the air. Even my head is spinning.

Aesop's Fables-Peacocks Chase away Jackdaw

"I don't care what your teachers taught you about moral relativism. In my world there's naughty and there's nice."

One of those dreadfully uncomfortable corporate moments...

"Is something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?"

"After spending so much time and money on our lawsuit, don't you think it would be a shame to go ahead and bribe me like this?"

Uncle Sam is a Pedophile