Moral Guardian Gifts

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

Church Zone - Thou Shalt Not Speed.

Do Not Cross the Vatican

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Liberty and capital punishment.

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

"I try to follow my conscience, but by early afternoon it's usually lost me."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

'Nap time's over, Ms. Doan. You have to wake them up.'

'I TOLD you Adam needed a role model.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"I have so many summer videos on my phone, but I don’t remember being there." "Sure. Because you experienced it all through your phone."

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

"Remember, theres a right way to do things and there's your father's way."

"I want you to prepare a business ethics presentation. If you don't have the time steal it off the internet."

Aesop's Fables-Peacocks Chase away Jackdaw

"I don't care what your teachers taught you about moral relativism. In my world there's naughty and there's nice."

One of those dreadfully uncomfortable corporate moments...

"Is something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?"

"After spending so much time and money on our lawsuit, don't you think it would be a shame to go ahead and bribe me like this?"

"I did not abort, and I deeply regret that every day!"

"He intends to die with dignity. He desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Proud parent of an honor student? Eh, whatever. Parent of an honorable student? Now that would be impressive."