Moonstruck Youth Gifts

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Whatever!

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

"Spring Chicken"

Active pensioner.

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

"Debit card, no problem. Any cash back?"

'Hollywood pharmacy: 'Thank you! Have a paparazzi - filled day!'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Wow! You really do look just like your baby pictures.'

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

'Second childhood, eh?'

How Our Age Reflects Upon Us

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

'He keeps us young!'

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'I want to look ten years younger.'