Moon Phase Mythbuster Pillows

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Planting by the Moon.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

Horse meat scandal.

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

"If only you knew. . ."

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"You have twenty eight days to live."

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"It's good luck."

Killing Santa

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'

Must be a full moon...

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

"Naughty or nice? I thought in a post-fact world, anything goes?"

'The whole thing about me creating man in my own image is a bit of a myth, I'm afraid.'

"You just ate! Wait 15 days."

Mr Moon's work boxes: 'wax' and 'wane'.

'Wait a minute here,,,a stork has too short a wingspan to carry a 5-10 pound load,,,'