Monument Monologuer Gifts

"Everyone kept telling me 'Oh, these statues will blow you away.' That's ridiculous. They look stupid, vacant, dull, empty-headed, dopey, ignorant..."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

StonesHendge.

Redecorating Easter Island.

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

"Sorry boss...Elon said no more public spending...but folks will know it's you."

Helicopter tour guide: 'And THERE they are folks! The mysterious ancient stone figures of Easter Island!'

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

A monument gets down from his plinth.

'Needs some underarm protection!!'

Executive Order: Add Trump's image to Mt. Rushmore!

"I love it....but lose the bodies"

First aid and sculpture

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

"They ruin the landscape!"

The Chicken of the North

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

'The professor would have wanted it this way. He always was a breast man.'

Oil Tower at Mount Rushmore

National Mom Monument.

'Hello, Trompe L'Oeils-R-Us, Croydon office...'

Mount Rushmore Selfie

Stone Henge - "OK, I'll take it, but I want it next to the A303 in Wiltshire."

"It's the tomb of the unknown Sculptor."

"They couldn't rent out the upper levels, so they're going to dismantle all but the ground floor."

Daniel Chester French

Thoughts about a comfort

I hate changing FROM Daylight Saving Time.