Monument Buff Gifts

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

The Stat-ewe of Liberty.

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

Football Sculpture.

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Vincent Van Goth.

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

Planner at work.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

A monument gets down from his plinth.

Percentage artwork

'I've always wanted to enter the Turner Prize.' - 'Burp!' - 'Okay, great. Now I just need a title...'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

'I never forget a face.'

'We can't take off yet, Madame!'

'This was to have been Hillary's greatest moment...'

Dinosaur skeleton with a cocktail glass.

'I can't remember the last time I treated a case of amnesia, and I can't even remember if I ever did treat one.'

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

"He's got a photographic memory."

'I've been treating you for months -- Has your memory shown ANY improvement?', 'Who wants to know?'

Band called ALL SORTS REALLY: 'This way, whenever someone is asked what music they like, we get a free plug.'

"Trevor's nose is running."

"They have extraordinary taste."