Monthly Subscription Gifts

Soup of the month.

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Employee of the Month

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

Wine of the Day Club

Why you must go to work

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

Maybe I should subscribe to the newspaper again.

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Time-of-the-month club.

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Houdini 2019

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

You tell him it's unnecessary. King of the Month. George.

Club of the Month

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"You know very well what subscription forms."

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."