Monthly Subscription Gifts

Soup of the month.

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Employee of the Month

Wine of the Day Club

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

Why you must go to work

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

Houdini 2019

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"You know very well what subscription forms."

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."