Monthly Bills Gifts

Why you must go to work

Soup of the month.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"I charge by the grain."

Medical Billing & Coding

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

High electricity consumption in the summer

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

"And another amazing feature of this model, it'll beep on the 27th of each month to tell you your payment's due"

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

Energy bills rise

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde gets his gas bill.

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

Catsulation

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

'Do we have to go through this every month Stan? We both know I'm your only employee.'

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'How goes the billing?'