Subscription Services Gifts

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

Refusing to pay for a dating service.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

Wine of the Day Club

Soup of the month.

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

Houdini 2019

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

"I wonder if you'd like to subscribe to a theory."

"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."

'It's not a revenue problem, it's a spending problem.' - 'If it makes you that mad cancel your subscription to Netflix.'

'There goes Methuselah again, cackling about all his lifetime subscriptions.'

'It's a subscription renewal notice from Gutenberg.'