Monster Lovers Gifts

"You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you a werewolf."

"I know he's not that much to look at but you should see him tango."

"Look on the bright side, at least you've discovered the cure for baldness."

Dracula cleaning the neck before biting his victim.

Lost My Head...

"All I have to say is someone better be bleeding"

Medusa gets a trim.

"This isn't good for my blood pressure. . ."

"If it's any consolation, the economic pinch also forced us to give up cable TV."

"I slept with the skeletons in the closet..."

"There was that old stock trader... I came out of his closet last night... he said he survived so many crises and recessions, nothing could scare him anymore... it was so depressing!"

Harvey had pressed the button and was waiting for the green man to appear.

Flesh eating plant in a hospital.

"...Could you come back later? He's in the middle of his banjo lessons."

The Nine Headed Hydra On Holiday

'Franken-fauna: Monopod Pig.'

'Boy, did I have a scary dream!'

"I think you'll be fine... You just need to believe in yourself!"

"I hate the winter. You have to bite through coat collars and scarves and so your mouth is always full of fibres."

"Didn't Mommy and Daddy tell you the other children would play with you if you wore your Halloween costumes?!"

"Beastly sorry about all these interruptions."

Love at First Fright Dating Service. She's very picky. As usual, I'm having a hard time finding her a date for the Halloween Ball. She went with the Invisible Man once, but she said she could see right through him. She didn't like Cyclops because it was hard to make eye contact. Doctor Jekyll was no good because two's company and three's a crowd. Has she like anybody? Yeak, Frankenstein's monster ... She thought he was very well-built.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Dead Funny

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."