Monster Humorists Pillows

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Here we are."

'... And this is my cellar.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Fancy a pint?

Cat Frankenstein

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Scientist seen on loch.

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

The Zombie Awakes...

"Well, we got the grant."

...your sales are rather anemic

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Transylvanian Snails.

'..and one for the pot.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Pitching problems.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Eye of Newt Helper