Monster Humorists Pillows

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Here we are."

'... And this is my cellar.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Cat Frankenstein

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Fancy a pint?

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Scientist seen on loch.

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

Pinata Zombies

The Zombie Awakes...

"Well, we got the grant."

...your sales are rather anemic

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Transylvanian Snails.

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

'..and one for the pot.'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

Pitching problems.

Eye of Newt Helper

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

Welcome to "The Ask Sadie Show," pre-Halloween edition. First caller is Zombie Eaton, from Schenectady. What's your problem?! Munch