Monster Humor Fan Gifts

"The terms of your policy excludes stakes, sunlight, garlic and cruxifixes."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'... And this is my cellar.'

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

King Kongs first christmas

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

Zombie pet tricks.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Official Fight Cards

King Kong Takes a Personal Day

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

"So, is there something more interesting outside the window than today's lesson, Jones?..."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

"There goes our early night."

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"