Monograms Pillows

"His monogram says it all."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Spell checker!'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Spot Quiz....

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Monk Prompt

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Well la de da. . .

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

Buddhist photo albums,

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'