Monkey Bars Master Gifts

Pupil in gym class being sawn out of climbing frame.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Balancing two espresso martinis

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

National Coffee Day

Street Organ - Monkey

"Influence this."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

I love Marimba

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'This bed comes with a remote monster-under-the-bed option.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

Hotel mini-bar.

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

Whack a Marimba

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'