Monkey Bars Master Gifts

Pupil in gym class being sawn out of climbing frame.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

National Coffee Day

"Influence this."

Street Organ - Monkey

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

I love Marimba

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

Whack a Marimba

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."